RANSVESTIA

aching heart, sadly understood her bewilderment at this bizarre side of my life. Like a man with an incurable disease the realization slowly crept over me that I was not like other men and never would be. My heart was tender toward my young bride and not wanting to hurt her with more discussion I temporarily withdrew from any further men- tion of cross-dressing. And while struggling for the answer I turned to another source of help that was to be my bulwark of strength from then to now to something that is rarely mentioned in the pages of Transvestia.

Several years before marriage I had become a Christian, admit- ting that I was a sinful creature and accepting the substitutionary sacrifice of God's son Jesus Christ as my Saviour to cover my sins. In Christianity the payment for sin is done by Christ, and the sinner receives salvation as a free gift for having accepted Christ's payment on the cross. The Christian does not earn his way to heaven; rather, his life from then on is a postscript, an eternal thankfulness marked by a desire to serve Christ and bring glory to Him in appreciation of what He has done.

In all the other religions of the world, including the pseudo- Christian churches that pass for contemporary Christianity in America, salvation is made dependent upon human merit, upon in- dividual performance being good enough to earn your way to heaven. Yet the Scriptures clearly show that no mortal can be good enough to achieve this performance, and frustration is the result, especially for the guilt-ridden transvestite who is well aware that his strange desires are not socially acceptable.

I realized that embracing the Christian faith does not guarantee removal of life's problems. The Christian experience is an integrating experience but the process of spiritual regeneration does not necessar- ily eliminate any personality difficulty an individual has such as the desire for cross-dressing. However, God does offer help and guidance to the Christian in handling his problems. The Holy Spirit guides our thoughts as we pray and read the Scriptures and yield ourselves. Cooperation on the part of the Christian is necessary and slowly a new life unfolds; but it is a life that must be cultivated by study, by fellowship with other Christians and by discipline. A Christian has the mental health resources not available to the non-believer, but the potential for problem solving, for psychic integration, for good mental health, must be utilized by the individual himself or else no significant change is likely to occur.

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